Spiral

Spiral
November 14, 2007




I've fallen down again
Each time it's harder
I find myself not wanting
Not caring to get back up.

I fight and fight
So hard to hold onto
What I see is good
And again and again
The petals wither.

Each time the fall is harder
Deeper than the last
And still there is no bottom.

I feel like a child complaining
Things could be worse
And yet I keep falling
I keep my eyes on the stars
But I'm still falling.

I reach out
I ask for help
Sometimes I feel a hand
But soon the grasp slips
And again I'm falling.

I want to hit the bottom
It seems I have to
For those who can help to help
But I keep falling
Unable to let myself lose sight of the stars.

And I fall and fall
Spiraling out of control
More and more each day
Trying to hide it from the world
Wondering how much they notice.

Another fight, another blow,
I can't take it
Someone please reach out
Someone stop my spinning mind
I'm falling and I'm scared
That I might hit the end soon.

I feel childish and petty
But I'm still falling
I chastise myself
But I'm still falling
The stars may shine brightly
But I'm still falling.

Every time I start to pull up
I'm kicked back down
I'm tired of trying,
I'm tired of crying,
I'm tired of sleeping,
I'm tired of living.

But the stars are still shining
And so I keep falling
Never reaching the bottom
Instead spiraling further out of control
And losing hope as I slide into the shadows
Cast by the glow of the stars
Unable to truly let their light die.