What should support, hurts,
What should calm, hurts,
What should inspire becomes a barrier,
But I still believe.
Who should support, hurts,
Who should love, hurts,
The unconditional becomes conditional,
And yet I still believe.
Safety turns to insecurity,
Confidence turns to destruction,
Inspiration turns to desolation,
Why do I believe?
Growth turns to regression,
Purpose turns to suffering,
Where is this transformation going?
The tears keep falling,
The anger keeps rising,
Each day I'm closer to the edge,
And I keep coming back.
Does it make me a sadist?
Does it make me pathetic?
Does it make me stupid?
Does it make me undeserving?
I return again and again,
Hoping and trying,
And am cut down once more,
And I ask myself if it matters.
The problem is I already know the answer,
I haven't realized it yet.
The problem is I can see their faces,
And I can't just abandon the future.
The problem is...I remember their names.
Ivory, Loeshia, Letitia, Rhajae, Candy, Sahira, Terrill, DeAndre, Ashely, Chrissie, Cameron, Martino, Yesenia, Katherine, Samantha, Marcus, Osvaldo, Jordan, Alejandro, Jacob, Robert, Chance, Deon, Gabriel...And others
If I leave, I become another statistic,
If I stay, it may destroy me,
If I leave, someone will fill my place,
But my time has mattered.
There is no answer, no solution,
I have no power and no voice,
And at the end of the day,
It doesn't matter to some.
But even without a voice,
I cannot turn my back on
What the children have taught me,
Because my voice mattered to them.
© March 13, 2007