Fear

           Fear
September 1, 2009


Beside you I cry,
Feeling more alone,
Afraid of the unknown,
Clinging to your kindness.

Confusion sets in,
Panic leads to worry,
And fear consumes me.

Please don't leave me.

Grasping for sanity,
I master my childish emotions,
But the insecurity lingers.

I have already lost you.

After the storm has passed,
The fires of truth burn my eyes,
I see the reality of my fear.

It was not your leaving, but mine, I feared.

The casting away of an old self,
Facing this newborn passion for life,
Confusion becomes clear,
As I begin to understand.

The shedding of my old skin,
Exposing myself to the world;
This was my true fear.

But will you believe me?

The knowledge of not turning back,
That I will never be the same,
That life burns inside me,
And I desire.

No, you have done no harm,
But you are the witness
To what I had forgotten.

And the desire burns.

The tempest is finished--for now,
And I am more at peace with myself,
Knowing I am truer of heart,
And free.

I would thank you,
But would you understand?
Would you see truly
As I see?

I miss you.

Time will pass
And perhaps you will understand,
The difference between a woman's
Heart and her Desire.

So close to holding both,
If I had only let go...

But I knew...

The future remains for us,
A path not yet tread,
You lead the way
Into the unknown.

I can now walk fearlessly,
Knowing myself truly
And master of my heart.

If only for now.

So with steady steps I shall follow,
Leaving my old skin behind,
And not looking back.

That moment we both felt it...
We both lost ourselves in each other
And it scared us.

It set me free,
Though I was afraid of freedom,
But I wonder how it torments you.

Desire can be innocent,
And innocent it was.
Do not punish yourself
For things you cannot undo.

My arms are open to you.

I will wait for you to find your way,
The path that leads you home
Readying my embrace for you.

You have touched my heart,
You have stirred my soul,
And in the confusion I misunderstood
And hurt you.

I pray you to find your peace
And understand my confusion.

Come back to me.

Emotions are scary
When you are used to control,
But some tears are good
And there is freedom when control is lost.

So I shall remain by your side,
Though you may not notice,
Ready should the path lead you back
With a smile as I look upon your face.

Thank you.